Positive Attitudes and Positive People

From as early as l can remember, my mother was the positive force in our family. I’m now the proud owner of her old copy of The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. Great book. My mother always made me feel like I could accomplish anything I desired. And yet growing up I wasn’t much for confidence. I’m not an outgoing socializing kind of person, but I love hanging out with positive people. I’m lucky to have friends who look at life the same way I do, friends that drift toward the energizing aura of people with positive attitudes. When I’m with them, I feel the intensity of their positive power and it’s almost as if I can accomplish anything!

I believe sometimes, that people don’t realize to what extent they can be a magnet for someone else’s moods. For instance, when I married my husband, he was one of the most positive people I’d ever met. His affirmative outgoing attitude is partly what attracted me. He’s a salesman. Part of his job description included maintaining a positive outlook, right? And that’s how his mindset coasted for a long time, but when his father became ill and my husband had to spend so much time with him, my husband began to take on his father’s grouchy demeanor. Now it’s understandable the man was cantankerous, he was 94 and not feeling well. I am of course pointing out to my husband his wicked moods…oddly enough, he agrees with me.

This serves to confirm what I’ve always heard; you hang around a grouch long enough you become a grouch.

I also have to continually work on myself in this area, but I take pride in believing that I’m a fairly positive person, or I try to be, because I don’t care for the opposite. Just recently, a friend told me I was an inspiration to her, and that my writing enthusiasm has inspired her to pursue a desire she’d had for a long time. To hear this means a lot to me. That I can inspire anyone to do anything is a big deal. It makes me feel I have purpose, like I’ve made some small contribution to humanity.

I try to remember life truly is short. We have lost so many relatives and friends this last year, that the seriousness of that statement has taken hold in my brain. I don't want to waste another minute! I want to live in an optimistic light. I don't want to spend another moment in a negative atmosphere. Remaining out of those can be tricky sometimes however, so it definitely takes work not to get pulled into that state of mind. But you can do it! Walk away. Put your headphones on. Pretend you have to make a phone call, something just escape!

Having attended many positive thinking and success seminars and having read loads of self-help books over the years, okay and a few hours of face-to-face therapy with a real live psychiatrist, I like to think that I’ve absorbed some of what I’ve been listening to and reading. I’ve found attending these hoo-rah-rah motivational seminars, reading these types of books and listening to audio recordings and podcasts are a tremendous help. The seminars or conventions I find terrifically stimulating, especially when they are specifically for women. We all know the amazing hum of energy that fills a room containing hundreds or thousands of women! Right? Think about all of the writer’s conventions. Aren’t you always incredibly jazzed after those? I know I am. It’s the positive energy flowing through the atmosphere circulating around all those amazing positive women, (and a few men too) that gets us all revved up!

Surround yourself with positive people and their optimistic energy will surround you.

Become a positive person and other positive people will drift in your direction.

This can be as easy as transforming negative thoughts to positive ones, like: "I can't change I'm too old." to "I'm changing all the time." or "I love changes, they make life fun."

Or it can be much more difficult, like making decisions that will forever alter your life in order to become a happier, healthier, more positive person: changing jobs, moving to a better neighborhood, leaving a spouse. But in the long run, you know you’ll be a better person once you adjust to the different way of life. I believe in following what my gut tells me to do, even if it hurts.

Motivational speakers I’ve enjoyed include, Zig Zigler, Dale Carnegie, Anthony Robbins, Billy Graham, Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, to name a few, and there are so many more. I attended a woman’s business convention once where Ron Chapman (A famous Dallas area radio broadcaster) was the motivational speaker and he was fabulous. I laughed lots and had the special opportunity to meet several successful Fort Worth business women as well. Wonderful experience. If you ever get the opportunity to attend a positive anything seminar, GO! They are very rewarding.

Most of the books that I have found helpful over the years, and ones that will remain on my bookshelf forever, are older releases, but I still pick them up and read them on occasion. There are so many helpful books out there I couldn’t begin to list them all here, but if you are struggling with any issue, there is a publication out there just for you that might help.



Here are some of my old favorites that will remain on my bookshelf:

The Bible
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale.
Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer
Fear of Flying by Erica Jong
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson
I’m Okay, You’re Okay by Thomas A. Harris
Seven Spiritual Laws for Success by Depaak Chopra

Why Can't I Get Any Sleep Around Here?

The Writer Angel Whisper
Those who know me, know that while I’m a little on the crazy side, parts of me are very regimental. Major list maker here. Sorry, it’s the only way I can stay sane in my world! Part of my strict schedule is Sunday through Thursday I go to bed at the exact same time. After the news, I’m in bed asleep in a matter of minutes.
Mostly.

4:10 in the morning?! Argh!

Lately I’ve had to fight like a demon possessed to stay asleep!
Am I the only woman who struggles with waking up in the middle of the night? It’s the worst thing in the world. And it’s so lonely with the lights out. And what’s with all those noises? Are there gremlins running around outside my bedroom door?
Oddly enough, I sleep like a baby on the weekends. Nothing wakes me up. During the week, when I have to get up at 6:30 for work, I’m zonked.
And grumpy!
That’s because I wake up at 4:10 every morning, and can’t fall back to sleep until a few minutes before the alarm goes off. I mean, I’ve counted sheep, made imaginary love to my hero, did my grocery shopping, and made to-do lists. Nothing helps. Usually I end up rolling around on my king sized bed like a tipped over bowling pin.
In desperation I spoke to my doctor about my sleep pattern and she said it was hormonal. Does everything that happens to woman after fifty have to be hormonal? Surely not.
As I struggled through this time, I remember something Wayne Dyer once said on a PBS special. The self-help guru claims he wakes every night at a certain time and he concluded that’s when the Angels Whisper.
Hum.
I remembered that a couple of weeks ago when I lay in my bed fighting the covers. What if the Writing Angels are trying to Whisper to me at 4:10 in the morning?
I put my theory to work the very next night. My eyes popped open at 4:10 on the dot. I lay there quietly waiting to hear the flutter of little wings.
Nothing happened!
I stayed with it.

The Angel Whispers, I listen

A couple of days later I lay in bed listening when an idea came to me so out of the blue. I shot up in bed. I loved the concept immediately and as far as I know, no one has done anything like it before. I was so stoked I wanted to jump out of bed and start writing. The tiny voice told me to wait. In seconds, I was back asleep.
Next morning I woke up anxious to start on my new manuscript, but never managed to chip out a chunk of time. I went to bed that night looking forward to my 4:10 date with the Angel Whisper. She didn’t let me down. She showed up right on time.
I lay there quietly listening to that tiny voice that instructed me to map out the complete story before typing one word on the manuscript. I immediately started a synopsis. I’m into my eighth day and my story is slowly, but every so effortlessly coming together.
I have no idea where this is going to go, but I’ve decided I’m going to enjoy the ride.
So, the next time you wake up in the middle of the night, maybe the Angels have something to Whisper to you.
Sleep well,
Geri

Creating Characters

When’s the last time you listened to someone tell a story?
My grandmothers were accomplished storytellers. I still remember the sound of their voices as they wove their tales of intrigue and adventure. Sometimes their words gave me chills; sometimes they made me cry. They made me feel and think. The cadence of the words, the way different characters sounded introduced me to a whole new world, while anchoring me firmly in the bosom of family. Sometimes I wish I could run home and sit at their feet and hear their words all over again; feel that safe at home feeling one more time.
Mostly they told stories about past times and family members; always brave and adventurous, because back in the day-if you couldn’t say good things-you didn’t say anything. Ah, the good old days!
Who knows if you can believe the stories handed down through generations? Sometimes there’s evidence or proof to back up the facts or at least some of them. In the telling and retelling facts are forgotten, while others are slightly elaborated on-to make the telling a little exciting.
History, speculation, conclusions, maybes, why, why not, and what ifs-that’s what storytellers tell and fiction writers write.
The stories we’re told, the experiences of our forefathers, our own experiences and journeys are what shape how we think, feel and act. As writers we draw on those emotions, memories and feelings to bring characters to life. We invest them with human qualities we’ve experienced or observed in others.
What stories were you told of your ancestors? What was your grandmother or grandfather like at your age? Where did they live? How did they make a living? What was the world like then? How did those things shape them? How did their upbringing influence you and your life?
Basically, this is how fictional characters are created. By asking questions and finding answers, writers create believable characters and hopefully ones readers will want to revisit time and time again.
Met any real characters lately?
Ella

Characters

Characters are the heart and soul of good fiction. Whether hero, heroine, villain or secondary character, each one enriches the story, or they should. The villain should frighten or disgust while intriguing. How and why could anyone do those things? Likewise, if you don’t see, hear or feel with the hero or heroine, the story is incomplete. These characters play off each other so villains have to be bad and heroes have to be good.
The hardest part of writing fiction is creating characters that walk off the page and into your heart. For that brief period of time while you’re reading the book, you are part of that world, so the place and time are also characters in the story.
All genres are the same: good characters = good stories = keeper books.
So where do good characters come from?
Depends.
No really, some characters just pop into your head and tell you their whole story; what could be easier than that? To me-the writer, characters are people with feelings, families, like and dislikes. Oh, and they have birthdays, celebrate holidays, get hurt, angry and make mistakes. Other characters are difficult to define, hard to control and undisciplined. As a writer those are the challenging ones. They are also the ones that keep me up at night. They don’t conform. They’re rebels and invariably they are the ones we fall in love with, because they break the rules we can’t or won’t break.
Good characters are what make you want to “keep” a book and reread it. When you open the cover of a book you’ve read before you’re connecting with the characters. Consciously or subconsciously you’re looking for something the characters have to offer; a good laugh, a good cry, suspense and drama. Maybe you want good to triumph over evil or to fall in love with the hero vicariously through the heroine. ;-)
Rereading a book is like opening a bottle of wine to share with a friend. You laugh, you cry, you cheer the characters on to their journeys end. It’s a comfortable visit, to a known destination, with good characters to share the journey.
So ask yourself, what characters do you enjoy revisiting time and time again?
Ella

Online Socializing

I’ve been filled with wonder lately and talking to several of my friends about the multitude of changes I’ve witnessed in my own short lifetime. Today I’d like to focus in on one of those changes: The amazing growth of technology.

For instance, the very first writer’s group newsletter article I wrote was about learning how to research on the internet, which gives you an idea of how long ago that was and how far technology has come since then! There was only one search engine at that time, if I remember correctly. Now I’m dating myself.

One of the problems I’ve encountered however, with today’s fast paced techno-world, is simply finding the time to keep up. Fitting these tasks into one day, every day, on top of working full time, coming home and preparing dinner, keeping up with the housework, handling the family’s finances, counseling children, husband, and other family members, writing and logging onto the internet to catch up with what’s happening around the world…whew! Well, you know what I mean? I’m certain you can all relate.

I’m totally jazzed though, about today’s new venues of socializing, but to stay in touch with everyone, I need an iPhone™ , iMac™, iPad™, iPod™, iPatch, ay, yay, yay! With multiple email addresses, Facebook™, My Space™, Twitter™, several Yahoogroups™, and a zillion various blogs to name a few, I’m exhausted before I even sit down at my computer. If I don’t check each of these frequently, I get so far behind it’s a daunting task to get caught up with who’s saying how, what, where and when. You have to stay in the loop! Right? Trust me, I’ve been out of touch for a while before and it’s a lost feeling for sure when you’re the only one not staying connected. For someone who doesn’t really like spending much time chit-chatting on the telephone, the vast information passageway of the World Wide Web can become as overwhelming and time-swallowing as a cold, deep, black, universal, worm hole.

And on top of that, I’ve committed myself to blogging too! Oh my! This part however, I admit, I’m finding a thoroughly fun adventure, and perusing the comments makes the work and time involved wonderfully rewarding. Oddly enough, scheduled blogging has also become a catalyst for inspired writing on my WIPs. Besides I love to write or I wouldn’t be here.

I also adore the internet and would be totally lost without its immeasurable knowledge base. Gosh, it doesn’t seem that long ago I was asking, “What’s the internet? What’s the World Wide Web? What are all those dot com addresses streaming across the bottom of all the commercial ads on television?” Now, if I have any kind of question, no matter what the subject, I run to the internet. Don’t you? Doesn’t everyone? What on earth did we do before? We had to drive to the library. Now I admit, I still have to go there occasionally, just because of the warm fuzzy feeling it provokes in me, but I don’t go very often any more.

So I’m wondering how everybody makes time for each of these tasks in addition to your normal routines? How do you fit surfing the internet into your day? Is that phrase outdated now? I can’t keep up? How much time do you spend online? Do you schedule your visits to the internet, or do you just sit and while away the hours? Do you limit the number of blogs you follow? Any time saving suggestions I could get would be tremendously helpful.

I’m looking forward to your comments and the possibility that someone can help me get this part of my life organized. Thanks, and until next time, I remain…

Overwhelmed but Happy in Texas,
Wendy Treitel

My Glamorous Life

Today at 4writers, we're delighted to have talented author Sophie Oak with us. Think it's all glamor and glitz? Let's see what Sophie says... Thanks for stopping by Sophie!




I’m a writer. It’s how I make my living. When I start to talk about my profession, I usually get one of two reactions. Most people immediately tell me about the book they’re writing. Yeah, I’ve even gotten that from a waiter in a foreign country. But then sometimes I get – wow, that’s exciting. You must live an interesting life. I think Judith Krantz ruined reality for all writers. You remember back in the eighties when a network would make one of her romances into a sweeping, epic miniseries? There she would be, introducing the series herself in her designer clothes from the library of her multimillion dollar mansion, a stunning cabana boy walking around the pool outside.

Yeah – I ain’t Judith Krantz.

My glamorous morning begins with the hubby’s alarm going off. I hear it. I throw things at it, and then I swear that I’m getting up this time. I’m getting up so I can exercise. I’ll have time before the baby wakes up to go for a jog and get some word count in. I’ll do that in just a minute…

Then the baby is screaming through the monitor, and I realize that I’ve overslept.  The morning is half gone, and I need to get a move on. After changing the baby, feeding the baby, cleaning up the baby because I left the syrup way too close to her little hands, I finally get to sit down with a cup of coffee. Yes, let the ideas flow.
Except I need to update my blog, answer my e-mail, update and answer all my Facebook posts, check my calendar and crap – I forgot to pay that bill. By the time I get done with all of those fabulous tasks, it’s lunch time. This time, the baby decides she doesn’t want chicken noodle soup. Yep, I get to clean up the baby again.

The afternoon brings edits and a call from my publisher about when she can expect a new Bliss book. I assure her that after I help my teen with chemistry, yell at my middle daughter about the state of her room and watch Toy Story 3 for four hundredth time, I will get right on it.

Sometime after the hubby comes home, I finally sit down and I do, in fact, fall into that amazing, wonderful, interesting life. Words flow and before too long, it really takes shape. I tell the kiddos good night and finish up another chapter, before I get ready to sleep so I can wake up and do it all again tomorrow.

It’s not glamorous, but it’s mine and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But sometimes, like when I’m writing an erotic scene and I can’t think because Elmo is talking in the background, just sometimes, I want to punch Judith Krantz in her perfectly made up face.



Sophie Oak writes erotic romance for Siren Publishing. 
www.sophieoak.com

Laugh Often

I have a sign on my kitchen wall that says, "Live Well, Love Much and Laugh Often". I never paid much attention to that little plaque until this weekend. Then, it struck home.
After a harrowing week of crazies, I went out with several of my girlfriends over the weekend to have dinner and a few drinks. With the help of wine, margaritas, and some frou frou drink, we ended up laughing ourselves silly. For over three hours we were completely out of control and at times bordering on hysteria. We laughed about sex toys, dogs fighting, kid’s clothes, and weird people. You’d have thought we were 16 year old girls out for the first time.
As I drove home that night, I thought why don’t we do that more often? How come we let the stupidest things in God’s creation steal our fun and our laughter? The jobs, the kids, the housework, it all robs us of who we really are. And let’s not forget the people in our lives. Sometimes it makes me want to live on an island all by myself.
Who am I kidding, I’d be nuts in a day.
Didn’t someone once say, Laughter is Good for the Soul? That proves it, even God wants us to laugh and have fun. What better fun than getting together with great friends who allow you to display your silly side without judgment?
We need to laugh more and stress less. As writers we need to recognize that life is a joke, most of the time. Why do we take ourselves so seriously? Why all the drama? And yes, wherever you have writers, you have drama. But you also have fun loving people who actually understand you.
I know, that’s scary.
I promised myself I will no longer allow small stuff and people and jobs and obligations to drive me nuts. I won’t let anything dig its claws into my time, my fun, my life or my writing. I’m going to laugh more and I’m going to appreciate the wonderful friends I have.
As women who write, let’s become better friends. Let’s smile more and crack a joke at every given opportunity. Let’s bust a gut laughing until every other person in the room turns around and gives us the stink eye for having more fun than them. Let’s not take ourselves, and others so serious.
I honestly think the sound of laughter is the most beautiful sound ever created by God or man. And we all have it. We all have the ability to laugh instead of cry, we have the creativity to look at all the crap around us and see the more humorous side.
I’m laughing out loud today, how about you?
Geri Foster